Monthly Archives: 七月 2009

可以嚟個結局了嗎?

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給我親愛的忠實讀者，

唔經唔覺都已經三個月冇左喺這個網誌寫我的唔開心事、其實，這個是一件好事，在這兩個月、我和他經歷好多開心嘅事，不需要喺度咗記的不開心的事啦！

惗返我們經歷好多開心與唔開心

咗我們認識了差不多依經兩年嘅時間由開始與今我只想感謝我們的神，因為係祂俾我們機會可以遇見和認識對方，是祂的恩典。

我真係希望這個 post 是依個網誌最後。

好感謝你的閱讀

a bad dream :(

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as I mentioned in my previous entry, I would post up my dream…

I had a really weird dream, yet it was so surreal, hard to explain what happened exactly but somehow, I either went to my future self or I had amnesia in the future, either way, whatever happened before, I had no idea.

the setting was in my future house, a house my fiancé bought for us, it was a big beautiful house (with chandeliers hanging), so I assumed we were quite wealthy, unfortunately, in my dream, My Fiancé, or rather, already husband had just passed away due to an accident (sadly I just don’t know what accident was it), it happened just days after our wedding, the event went from a happy occasion to only moments it became a sad thing. I walked around obliviously as friends and family came to comfort me, saying how they were so sorry about the accident, because I had no idea what was going on, I could only accept those words of comfort obscurely.

Suddenly, the phone in my hand rang, the travel agency in Europe called to ask me about a cancellation in my hotel accommodations over there, then they realized my phone number was not the one that I was suppose to be using in Europe, I only sadly explained that my fiancé just passed away, they sent their compassion and considerations and we hung up.

I returned to serving the guests once more, I met up with a few of my close friends, and we talked, while I went on observing and trying to keep everyone in order, I can’t remember what really happened, but I just remember saying these words: to feel like you had almost everything and the world was yours in one moment, and in the next, it all crumbles around you, this is the most painful experience.

Then I woke up.

this is indeed on the worst dreams I’ve had or will ever have. I think the reason why I had forgotten all about this was because of my depression and grieve over my husband’s death?

I had forgotten about:

– the wedding

– the accident everyone was talking about

– the accident that killed my fiancé, (names have been kept secret due to the fact that this dream happens around a certain group of friends you know) 

all I knew was

– the love shared between my fiancé and me, clues indicate this is about 4 years (well more exact, 3-5 years) from now

– my friends now remain my friends

questions and concerns:

– I hope this isn’t a reflection of the future

– I will really end up with… him?

– of all the places, why Europe for a honeymoon?

– why did I have this dream?

– it was a big house… but where was it? HK, Canada, USA? WHERE?

– it was weird to feel sad, but not upset, about a person I know of an event unknown to me.

if knowingly once we choose to be with someone means they will leave us (death) should we continue?

its been a long time….

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gosh, how long has it been since I’ve last written on xanga? probably a couple of weeks? I didn’t count. 😦

You are probably wondering, where did Steph go? no worries, I’ve just been quite busy… with church every Sunday, Fellowship every Friday, Bioline every Wednesday, class every Wednesday, I think I managed to keep myself quite occupied. But as you wonder, shouldn’t I still be busy? correct, but as we approach the last week of classes, so does the time of procrastination…

on top of all that, retreat is coming up 🙂 … actually I am quite nervous, (for those who know how I feel about retreats will know I mean)

btw, what’s with everyone switching to Nokia phones? is the Sony Ericsson era over or something? or is there something I missing out on? for a total of 10+ Sony Ericsson users I’ve known, who have used Sony Ericsson for over 5 years, suddenly just switch to Nokia phones?

just 2 hours ago, I woke up from a nap, and I had one of the most … bad dreams, can’t say if its a nightmare, will keep everyone posted when I have finally figured out what had happened in that dream, maybe someone with dream interpretation abilities could tell me what happened? (aka. Kelvin? XD) I will post it up here in a few days (hopefully ^^)